Funeral Faux Pas

The other day my husband and I went to a funeral for a former colleague of his - he was a great man, but a bit of a loner, and consequently, it was mostly men that he used to work with before retirement who were in attendance.

Of course, by the time we arrived, I had already chugged down an extra large Timmy Ho's, so decided that it would be a good idea to 'use the facilities' before embarking on the Catholic (read: very long) Funeral Mass.

I made my way to the washroom and got myself settled in a stall.  Imagine my surprise when I walked out, and in the mirror saw a man facing the wall beside me. Oh.My.Word. He was . . . peeing! In a urinal. In the men's room. Where I shouldn't be!

I quickly darted out of the bathroom and across the hall into the sanctuary of the women's washroom - a look of horror mixed with amusement etched on my face. I waited until I heard the gentleman leave and allowed him sufficient time to get mixed in with the small group of people gathered in the lobby before gathering up my courage to go back to my husband. 

Not long after, we all gathered in the chapel for the service. My husband led me to a pew, and together we celebrated the life of a colleague and friend. Apparently the good Lord had a sense of humour about my mortification, as when it came time to offer handshakes to those around us, I discovered the man from the bathroom was seated directly behind me. As we shook hands, I could tell by the glint in his eye that he KNEW. I just hope he washed his hands.

But then something amazing happened.  Apparently, I was not to be alone in having an embarrassing moment that day.

First, someone's cell phone began to ring just as the Priest was about to speak the Gospel. It turned out it was the Altar Boy (I use that term loosely as the gentleman was probably in his 70's) - and he proceeded to pull out his phone and read whatever text message he had received while sitting in full view of the congregation. To his credit, he did not appear concerned at all; however the Altar Girl shot him some very stern looks, and I'm quite certain she was having some decidedly un-Christian-like thoughts while doing so.

Next, the Priest inadvertently (I assume) referred to the deceased by his very much alive brother's name not once, but twice during the service. I imagine it is somewhat rare that one would sit in the house of the Lord and publicly and specifically be called a man who has sinned often - even though let's face it, we all are. Thankfully the brother had a great sense of humour, and when the priest shared that he was now surrounded by God's light, he had a glimpse of what others will rarely have - a moment that will occur at his own funeral at some future date and time.

Yes, in the whole scheme of things, I think I got lucky with my little foray into the world of mens restrooms - at least my blonde moment was only shared/witnessed by one other with  no unfortunate (or fortunate for that matter!) glimpsing of private body parts. And for that, I am grateful.

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