Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Where Oh Where Can Your Little Brains Be?

Sigh.

For the past few weeks I have been complaining that I simply don't understand what has happened to my children. It's like they have lost their ever loving minds!

We are in the final few weeks of school, and they have completely forgotten the morning routine - you know, that super difficult one that involves eating, brushing your teeth, and getting dressed. I understand it may be perceived as somewhat complicated; however to be fair, we've been doing this for 10 months now and I haven't 'changed it up' just for fun. So why do I have to repeat each step at least a million three times and endure the cacophony of sobbing and squeals of "I don't know what to do next?!?" each and every morning?

Then, when they return from school, it starts again. They feign exhibit complete surprise when I point out the mudroom, their coat hooks, and shoe baskets. Somewhere in the school time vortex, an entire portion of our house simply disappears from their brains! Their eyes fill with blank stares wonder as I describe how to hang up their coats and - gasp - put away their shoes. Every single day.

Next comes the inevitable merry go round musical of "I'm hungry", "Dinner will be served in 20 minutes", "I don't like that", "I'm starving", "Why can't I just eat now?", "You're sooooo mean", and so on and so forth. It's no wonder I'm halfway through a bottle of Gin by the time dinner gets on the table!

And don't get me started on outside time. We have some simple rules in our house with respect to the outdoors. You wear a helmet and shoes (and preferably clothes as well) when you ride a bike or scooter. Shovels are for killing gophers, not digging up the grass. Put your things away when you are finished with them lest they be run over by a car or lawnmower. Easy peasy.

Nope. Not at my house.

This afternoon while I was visiting with a neighbor who had stopped by, B proceeded to dig several holes in the backyard - presumably the ones already immaculately dug by the gophers were not sufficient. I was finally able to wrestle the shovel away, but not before a humiliating demonstration of how I am no match for a six year old strength wise.

Then, later this evening, we had a guy show up to help us locate an electrical line we had buried several years ago. The kids went nuts. E was riding around the driveway at top speed on her scooter, apparently oblivious to my nagging reminders to "put a helmet on". The boys each grabbed shovels and practically wrapped themselves around the poor guys legs as they eagerly watched him locate the line. B got bored and started digging holes in the grass again. I begged him to stop in between yelling at E to put a helmet on or her scooter was going to the dump. Then Z started crying because I wouldn't let him start digging up the flowerbed to expose the now located line, exclaiming "You never let me do ANYTHING!!!!"

I began to try and herd the kids into the house to get ready for bed. By now the boys were trying to fight each other with shovels, and E was sobbing on the front step because she had finally found her helmet. I begged. I pleaded. And in a moment of sheer exasperation, exclaimed "For the love of God, can you please just turn your brains on for 1 minute?!?"

B threw down his shovel, stamped his feet, and shouted "We.Don't.HAVE.Any.Brains!"

Well now, I guess my suspicions have been confirmed.

Case closed.


Now, head on over to the Yeah Write moonshine grid for some other great reading this weekend :)

14 comments:

  1. Well, one thing is undeniably certain - you're never bored!

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    1. We are many things in this house ... bored is never one of them - despite my kids best efforts to convince me otherwise ;) Thanks for stopping by - have a fantastic weekend!

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  2. Hahaha! This post makes me thankful that I no longer have small children. Enjoy your summer ; )

    Karen

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    1. Thank you! They have a way of sucking the life out of ya somedays, but I think I'll keep them anyways lol. Thanks for reading and commenting :)

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  3. I love it! If only some adults would freely admit to not having brains.

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    1. I totally agree! Have a fantastic day!

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  4. Just a heads up, I don't think it really gets much better. At least it didn't in our house. Sorry.

    I'm wondering, you don't suppose it's a living in central Alberta thing? That's where I live too, and we have the same issues. Including the gophers. :)

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    1. Haha - I can now understand why my Mom used to mumble something about being driven to the funny farm under her breath when we were kids - I think it's payback ;)

      What part of Central Alberta are you in Ken? Here's to hoping the rain isn't getting in the way of all the spring seeding and fertilizing ...

      Thanks for stopping in, and if you have any gopher extermination tips or tricks, feel free to share ;)

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    2. I live in the Barrhead area. About an hour north of Edmonton. And it's raining here too, keeping me from my spraying and getting the cows to pasture. Because if there's anything worse than working in the rain, it's working with cows in the rain.

      No solution to the gopher problem. Other than a couple eager young boys and a 22. :)

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    3. My husband's family is all from Barrhead, and I also have an aunt who grew up there. We probably have people in common ;)

      As for the gophers, can't use a 22 in our subdivision, but I'm finding I'm a pretty good shot with a pellet gun. Then I get the kids to whack them on the head with a shovel. It's not pretty, but so far, we are winning the war ;)

      Have a fantastic Father's Day!

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  5. Maybe you can just disengage your brain and then it will all be ok ;) My kids are a bit older but still there are touches of this - they do get crazier right before school ends!

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    1. I find the kids have the hardest time during the last month of school - every routine is thrown out of whack with field trips, extracurricular activities ending, excitement for summer vacations, and sunshine long past bedtime - it's a recipe for fun times all around lol. I'm not going to say it works every time, but a Gin & Tonic doesn't hurt anything every once and a while either ;) Thanks for your comment and have a fantastic weekend!

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  6. The last few weeks of school are killer for us, too. Their little brains just completely check out, I guess!

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  7. Ha! Kids are awesome - especially since they're yours and not mine.

    I get you're in a subdivision, but why not just let/make them dig until they find the gopher "source?" Make it a chore - get them out of bed on Sunday to do it. Alberta needs more peaks and valleys anyway (says a former Albertan).

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