Thursday, 25 September 2014

Hello, Tooth Fairy? It's Me, Ben.

When you live in a household with three children under the age of 10, tooth fairy visits are inevitable. Z had his first visit a couple of years ago and has entered into a rather profitable relationship with the little lady. E lost her first few teeth this past year (although she tends to like to just let them dangle from her gums, earning her the esteemed title of "Nanny McT"), and while she enjoys the monetary treats left behind, she doesn't particularly care for the flying pixie. This stems from her Dad asking her to say hi if she happens to wake up during the exchange - after all, he did used to date the Tooth Fairy you know.

And then there's B. Poor little B who was blessed with teeth that are firmly rooted and happy to be there. He has watched longingly as his brother and sister collect their bounty, and wept silently (ok, it's more like wailing like his arm has been cut off but whatever) as he learned that his younger cousin had lost yet another tooth.

In August, he was delighted to finally discover one wiggly tooth. It was barely moving, but still a sign that changes might be on the way. That night, his sister lost a tooth, and he left his own note for the tooth fairy …

He had been waiting (not so)patiently ever since, and slowly the days and weeks went by with no indication that the little tooth was going to give up on its current location.

The other night, while he was eating an apple, I tried to discourage him from eating the seeds. He replied "I've ALWAYS eaten the seeds - they are good!" to which I stated "well, no wonder you haven't lost any teeth yet then!" He looked at me with wide eyes, his bottom lip started to quiver and tears started to form before he realized I was joking.  I did feel a little a bit bad about teasing him like that - but only for a moment. After all, I hate loose teeth and these kids torment me endlessly by making sure I'm privy to every wiggly moment of the process.

Fast forward to last night. I walked in the door and was greeted by a tooth wedged between his lips. "Pull that thing out already" I exclaimed as I tried not to vomit. Thank goodness Mike was home and could do the yanking honors - and just like that, I had no more babies in my house :(

When I tucked B in last night, I found this:
Translation: I want 2 dollars in deer heads (quarters) please.

Rumor had it that the Tooth Fairy spent all her money on coffee yesterday - fortunately she hit up the bank machine before heading out on her rounds last night, and was able to secure some change to leave for the big boy. In her hurry, she forgot the tooth - and I had the distinct pleasure of hearing it rattling around in the tooth container while it was being shook by my ear at 5:15 a.m. Probably pay back for the apple seeds comment. Guess I deserved it.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

A Morning Trip Down Memory Lane

"But MOOOOOOOOOOOOM, I NEED to take my tablet to school - no one believes that I have one!!!!", "I promised so & so I would bring it today so we could play on it at lunch time", "It's my tablet - I can do WHATEVER I WANT!!!!".

Oh the sweet sounds of anarchy in the morning - I don't know how I would live without them.

I have a very strict 'no electronics at school' policy. My kids know this. It has been reinforced repeatedly. I'm not sure where clarification is needed. Yet once again, we were on the 'technology at school' train. A variety of other statements were spewed out incessantly when suddenly this gem was shouted:

"It's NOT FAIR! When YOU were my age YOU got to take electronics to school!!!!"

I will admit to feeling flattered that they thought I was young enough to have actually owned something electronic when I was that age, let alone an electronic that was small and portable enough to actually take to school. What was I going to do, load up the monster sized Atari with it's stellar graphics to stare at on the playground? If I wanted to do that I would have to lug along my 10 inch black and white TV and there ain't no way that thing was leaving my room after I had to beg and plead to get it in there in the first place!

Yeah, about the closest thing to an electronic that I could have taken to school was my Mom's super cool battery operated calculator. That thing was the best! The numbers were displayed in blue, the keys clicked, and it was only slightly bigger than your hand. Oh how I loved that calculator. I would play with it for hours, turning it upside down and making words like HELLO, EGGSHELL, and BOOBIES (admit it - you did this too!), multiplying 123456789 by 987654321 just for fun, and simply running my hands across the keys to see what popped up. I would enter a number in memory, fool around with calculations for a while, and then try to remember what number I had saved. The only downside was the thing sucked the juice out of 6 AA batteries like you wouldn't believe. Really, who needed a "Little Professor" or "Speak and Spell" when you had a calculator like that to play on?

Tonight I showed my kids the kinds of electronics that were around when I was young. They thought these things were lame, and in a world of compact, flashy, and ever changing technology I can totally understand their point of view. But in my world, they were - and still are - awesome. Man, I sure do miss that calculator (and I'm only slightly bitter that my younger sister was the recipient of a Spell and Math from Santa after years and years of my lobbying hard for a Speak and Spell).

Fun Fact: My amazing husband was born 5 years before The Little Professor calculator was introduced by Texas Instruments in 1976, and a full 7 years before the Speak and Spell was introduced in 1978.  Happy Birthday Mike!!!!

Monday, 15 September 2014

The Birds and The Bees

"Okay boys, it's time to sit down and read together for a while" I said one evening as I held the 'What's Happening to Me' book in my hands. After all, Z is getting older, and while I hope changes don't start happening anytime soon, I figure it is best to be proactive. Plus, this is the year they start talking about sexuality in school, so I'm hoping a pre-emptive strike might alleviate some red cheeks down the road. I invited B as well - mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to repeat this process several hundred times.

We made it to page 3 at which time I realized:

I should have read the book on my own and practiced in the mirror a few times before sitting down with the boys. After all, I'm the kind of person who giggles every time someone says 'Regina' - not sure why I thought I wouldn't fall into fits of snickering every time I had to say the word "sex". Who knew one word could turn me into a hot mess every time I had to say it? Just goes to show that maturity and age do not go hand in hand.

Apparently I say the word 'secs' a lot, because when I first said sex and burst into my fits of giggles, Z asked if I meant sex as in seconds. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his first time might really be only seconds, in which case he would be right - and why ruin that moment for him?

I had no idea that the issue of 'body hair' would be such a big one. Hey little man, you can wish all you want for smooth armpits and lack of a hairy bottom but the only way that's going to happen is through the tortuous process of waxing. Better to just come to terms with the fact you are going to be a hairy beast.

And finally, I really, really, really need to have a G & T (or six) before taking this 'educational process' further. 

On second thought, maybe I'll just have his Dad take the lead on this one while I drain the Gin and listen in. After all, it isn't fair that I get to do all the fun things, right?