Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Spreading Christmas Cheer

I am trying to clean my house today. With two weapons of mass destruction going off like loose cannons, it makes it hard. Add to that a nasty cold that's giving me a good a$$ kicking, the task becomes nearly impossible.

In desperation, I decide to bribe take the kids to the Dollar Store to pick out a new coloring book that will hopefully occupy them long enough for me to get at least one smallish section of the house complete.

We were greeted with the delightful sounds of Christmas Carols wafting through the street when we got out of the car. The kids were happy and excited, smiling and dancing as we walked into the store. My daughter marvelled at just how wonderful everything smelled. I could only smell exhaust fumes, but to each their own.

We immediately proceeded to the colouring aisle. My daughter found something very quickly. My son - well, he had a harder time making up his mind than I do when I'm PMSing. He wandered the aisle up and down - and then I made my fatal mistake. I allowed him to go look in the toy aisle. Yes, you're right - I should know better. I'm blaming the cold meds, even though I haven't taken any.

From there we proceeded to have a rather heated debate about why I would not buy him handcuffs. I finally dragged him back to the Art aisle and told him he had one minute to pick something otherwise he would be going home with nothing. He continued to whine, so I took our purchases to the front and began to pay.

And then, a most wonderful thing happened.

He started singing a very loud Christmas Carol. Granted, he took some creative license with the words ("I want handcuffs", "I'll be good", "I won't lock you up", "I don't want to colour", "I can't stay in the lines"), and to be honest, the tune was a little on the screachy side - but hey, we can't all the next great vocal talent, can we?

It was the stage show that really knocked your socks off though. He started jumping up and down in time with the beat of his song, then laid on the floor and performed the flail like nobody's business. For a little extra drama, he tried to pants me twice, but both times was denied the prize. Not satisfied with just the Dollar Store audience, he continued to twist and flail out the door and onto the sidewalks of Blackfalds - rolling and groaning all over the square, in the frosty air.

Something tells me I should be investing in coal stock right about now . . .

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