Monday, 15 September 2014

The Birds and The Bees

"Okay boys, it's time to sit down and read together for a while" I said one evening as I held the 'What's Happening to Me' book in my hands. After all, Z is getting older, and while I hope changes don't start happening anytime soon, I figure it is best to be proactive. Plus, this is the year they start talking about sexuality in school, so I'm hoping a pre-emptive strike might alleviate some red cheeks down the road. I invited B as well - mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to repeat this process several hundred times.

We made it to page 3 at which time I realized:

I should have read the book on my own and practiced in the mirror a few times before sitting down with the boys. After all, I'm the kind of person who giggles every time someone says 'Regina' - not sure why I thought I wouldn't fall into fits of snickering every time I had to say the word "sex". Who knew one word could turn me into a hot mess every time I had to say it? Just goes to show that maturity and age do not go hand in hand.

Apparently I say the word 'secs' a lot, because when I first said sex and burst into my fits of giggles, Z asked if I meant sex as in seconds. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his first time might really be only seconds, in which case he would be right - and why ruin that moment for him?

I had no idea that the issue of 'body hair' would be such a big one. Hey little man, you can wish all you want for smooth armpits and lack of a hairy bottom but the only way that's going to happen is through the tortuous process of waxing. Better to just come to terms with the fact you are going to be a hairy beast.

And finally, I really, really, really need to have a G & T (or six) before taking this 'educational process' further. 

On second thought, maybe I'll just have his Dad take the lead on this one while I drain the Gin and listen in. After all, it isn't fair that I get to do all the fun things, right?

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