Thursday, 11 April 2013

The "Newfoundland Experiment"

I'm not going to lie - my kids have driven me straight to the front door of crazy town this week. I love them dearly, but I seriously am counting the minutes until bedtime when they walk in the door at the end of the day. Feeling this way is not fair to them, I realize this, and so I try valiantly to entertain and engage with them as much as I can - but when they are constantly bickering and fighting and doing stupid stuff like throwing stuffed animals at light fixtures, I just want to crawl under the covers and try again tomorrow.

Yesterday was no exception. Everything I cleaned was undone within an hour of completion. B and L couldn't get along to save their life. By the time Z walked in the door after school, I already felt like I had been wrung through the ringer.  Then I remembered we needed to get a prescription refilled. sigh. Off to the pharmacy we went.

I don't usually take all the kids to the pharmacy with me - but I had no other option. It went about as I had anticipated, and by the time we were paying and leaving, I wondered aloud "Is it bedtime YET?". And this is precisely when my moment of brilliance hit . . .

In Newfoundland, 3 1/2 hours ahead of us, it was INDEED bedtime. And so began my elaborate attempt at deception.

While sitting at the dinner table eating, I informed the kids we were actually on an airplane destined for Newfoundland. Then, while they were putting their dishes away, I changed the clocks in the kitchen to Newfoundland time. I reset the time on my phone as well - good call, because they did indeed check to make sure the clocks in the kitchen were actually right.
Newfoundland bound.

Upon arrival at our destination, we took a quick cleansing bath, then it was off to bed, because it was so super late of course. They did comment that it was very bright outside for being 9 p.m. - I agreed and told them this was why Newfoundland is so magical.

On our way upstairs I happened to mutter something about needing a little Screech to make things more authentic - well, the kids delivered. For the next 45 minutes there was screeching like you wouldn't believe - and towards the end, it was mostly coming from their mother! I threw in a few "Take a gawk at yer crooked mother " and "oh me nerves" for good measure. Apparently they hadn't caught on to the Newfie lingo just yet because all I got were quizzical looks.

By 11 pm Newfoundland time they finally fell asleep. Shucks. Same time as always Alberta time. Oh well, at least it made the evening a little bit more ... entertaining. Sigh.

Here's the best part ... our Newfoundland adventure didn't just stop there. Nope. Not a chance.

At 3 a.m. I opened my eyes to discover Z staring at me intently.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

"Getting up. It's 6:30 in Newfoundland ... can I have a snack?" he replied.

My friends, I was not as enthusiastic about his genius math skills as I should have been. Sigh.

Oh well, at least I was half awake when my cell alarm went off a short while later because I forgot to reset the time on my phone. Son of a ...