Thursday, 28 June 2012

I Know This Much is True: Mother's Version

All kids play nicely until you are on the telephone. After that, all bets are off.

If it's really really quiet you are already too late.

Stating "stay out of that room" is actually an open invitation to enter.

A helium balloon in the house will ALWAYS end up in the ceiling fan.

If it has a spring in it, the kids will jump on it.

There will never be enough seats to choose from in a vehicle. Arguing about where to sit is as necessary as buckling the seat belt.

If you happen to make it into the bathroom without a kid following you, there is a good chance you will be interrupted by someone ringing the doorbell. The likelihood increases if you are taking a crap.

"I cleaned up the closet/bedroom/mudroom" is code for "Mom, you might want to have a cocktail before you take a look at what I've done". 

Asking why there is a pair of ginch on top of the cupboards is pretty much a pointless question.

If you are cleaning the bathroom and you feel a kid starting to play with your hair, chances are it is with the toilet brush.

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