The other night when I was putting the kids to bed, the topic came up about how they were born.
I explained that they had to cut my tummy open to take Ben and Elizabeth out. Elizabeth came out first, then Ben started to cry and peed all over me before they could even take him out. This caused great gales of laughter and I had to pantomime Ben peeing several times before they were able to settle down.
Then Ben asked about Zach and Emily. I explained that Zach and Emily grew inside my tummy, but that I had to push them out of my bottom.
Their eyes grew wide - Zach and Ben began laughing and shouting "FOR REAL?!?!" repeatedly, while Elizabeth started this weird hyperventilating laughing that wasn't really laughing but an attempt to show she wasn't as grossed out as she felt.
After about 20 minutes they were all settled, and I assured them that no matter how they got out of my tummy, I loved them all just the same. They seemed ok with this.
I proceeded with the bedtime snuggles. As I was rubbing Ben's back, he started to whimper. I asked him what was wrong . . .
"But I wanted to be pushed out like poop too - just like Zach".
Sometimes, there is just not enough gin in the world.
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