Normally I don't discuss disagreements my husband and I have, but tonight I'm going to make an exception - simply because he is taking longer than usual to finally come to terms with the fact that I, of course, am right.
The issue is this:
I don't believe it is appropriate to pass gas (him) while standing around having a conversation with someone (me). Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the little ones that inadvertently 'slip out' before you realize what is happening. Of course you have little control over that.
No, I'm talking about him being in the middle of saying a sentence and letting the thunder roll for 10 seconds without even altering the conversation in any way, shape, or form - then acting like NOTHING just happened.
To his credit, it probably is a gift that he can make his farts so loud and long - I certainly have never met anyone with quite this same capability in my lifetime - and he is obviously very committed to his motto of "it's not worth doing if you can't share it" - but seriously?
Here is a typical conversation:
Me: How was your flight?
Him: Well, it was pretty good, but for a while there (cue start of fart) it got really bumpy and at one point my stomach felt upset (end fart) but then things settled down and it was very smooth.
Me: (Disgusted) I think your stomach is still upset!!! Was that your way of introducing mood music to illustrate your point???
Him: What? I don't know what (lays a blackie) you're talking about.
Me: THAT! That's what I'm talking about.
Him: Just because you can only push out squeakers doesn't mean that I can't be amazing!
And if I'm honest - he might be a little bit right. I'm more of an SBD kind of girl to be sure - but sometimes it would be nice to pack a little punch. I'm pretty positive I could eat a thousand pounds of beans and NEVER make a sound like that - and if I did get so lucky, I wouldn't even WANT to look in my underpants!
So whose side are you on?
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