Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Me vs. Him - I'm Right . . . Right?

Normally I don't discuss disagreements my husband and I have, but tonight I'm going to make an exception - simply because he is taking longer than usual to finally come to terms with the fact that I, of course, am right.

The issue is this:

I don't believe it is appropriate to pass gas (him) while standing around having a conversation with someone (me). Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the little ones that inadvertently 'slip out' before you realize what is happening. Of course you have little control over that.

No, I'm talking about him being in the middle of saying a sentence and letting the thunder roll for 10 seconds without even altering the conversation in any way, shape, or form - then acting like NOTHING just happened.

To his credit, it probably is a gift that he can make his farts so loud and long - I certainly have never met anyone with quite this same capability in my lifetime - and he is obviously very committed to his motto of "it's not worth doing if you can't share it" - but seriously?

Here is a typical conversation:

Me: How was your flight?

Him: Well, it was pretty good, but for a while there (cue start of fart) it got really bumpy and at one point my stomach felt upset (end fart) but then things settled down and it was very smooth.

Me: (Disgusted) I think your stomach is still upset!!! Was that your way of introducing mood music to illustrate your point???

Him: What?  I don't know what (lays a blackie) you're talking about.

Me: THAT! That's what I'm talking about.

Him: Just because you can only push out squeakers doesn't mean that I can't be amazing!

And if I'm honest - he might be a little bit right. I'm more of an SBD kind of girl to be sure - but sometimes it would be nice to pack a little punch. I'm pretty positive I could eat a thousand pounds of beans and NEVER make a sound like that - and if I did get so lucky, I wouldn't even WANT to look in my underpants! 


So whose side are you on?

Want to add a little sip of Gin & Tonic to your day? Follow me on Twitter:  


  1. I am not on either side, consider me Switzerland, but I am rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off right now! Sweet little Mike, who knew you had such talent! Ha ha ha ha!

  2. It is a gift for sure . . . I think he does it to distract me when we are talking about money or some other important thing. He knows I'll get thrown off track ;)

  3. Laughing... I used to be on your side, but then a couple times mine let one rip... and I totally ignored it... and he did too.. and I felt strangely adult!

    1. Most times I can ignore it - it's when you can't hear his voice because of his symphony that I have trouble ;) lol

  4. Being able to continue the conversation is a talent. The Boyfriend always pauses mid-sentence, makes the fart face and then by the time it's done he forgets what he was going to say.

    1. haha - the dreaded fart face!!! It ranks right up there with the lean ;) It is a talent for sure, and I am more than a little jealous that he can just let them roll without skipping a beat. At least he doesn't lose his train of thought - although sometimes I wish he would lol! Thanks so much for your comment!