Friday, 20 July 2012

Of Trampolines and Jumping Jacks

If you are a woman reading this title, you can probably already guess what this blog post is about . . .

The other day I was having coffee with a friend when we got to talking about the dangers of jumping on a trampoline. No, we weren't worried about broken bones or landing on our heads - rather, it was the inevitable "I'm going to pee myself/I'm peeing myself" moment that goes hand in hand with getting on a trampoline.

As a child, the only time I jumped on a trampoline was at a gymnastics class when I was 7. After that, the opportunity just wasn't there. One evening, when I was first dating my husband, we walked to a friends house and Emily started jumping on their trampoline. Thinking this looked like fun, I eagerly got on and bounced once . . . twice . . . oh . . . my . . . Lord?! Once I started, I couldn't stop - and I'm NOT talking about the jumping!

Of course I was embarrassed, and I'm sure Mike and Emily wondered why I walked like a penguin all the way home (longest two blocks in my LIFE)! I vowed there and then that I would NEVER jump on a trampoline again.

Fast forward a few years . . . we moved to an acreage and got a trampoline. I was hopeful when I climbed on, and shamed when I climbed off. Apparently, the only way I will ever be able to jump on a trampoline again will be if I'm wearing a diaper - and I'm pretty sure by then I won't be able to get onto it with my walker.

Unfortunately, doing jumping jacks has the same effect - and I now believe that it's only a great workout if I've wet myself. It's my new sad reality, and I am not ashamed to admit it.

The other day on our way home from holidays, we passed an acreage that had a trampoline in the yard with an outhouse right beside. Someone brilliant lives there. 


  1. "I now believe that it's only a great workout if I've wet myself." Brilliant.

  2. One day I'm gonna put on one of those diapers Lisa Rinna advertises and show up to my trainers house wearing my tightest yoga pants just to see if she notices. It could be fun ;)